Relationship Series: Part I: Age Ain't Nothing But a Number?

Jennifer Lopez & Casper Smart

By Staff

Society has always seemed kinder to the older man-younger woman hookup.   He is called mature and debonair while she is labeled a sex kitten.   When older women seek the affections of a much younger man, she viewed to be “on the prowl- and sex-starved.   It’s a clear double standard but love is an open field.   Actress Gabrielle Union joked about feeling “less like a pervert- now that her younger boo, Miami Heats player Dwyane Wade, has turned 30.   Wade is about 9 years younger than Union.   Meanwhile, new parents Jay-Z and Beyonce have been romancing for over 10 years and he is at least 10 years her senior.   And people celebrate them as one of entertainment’s most beloved couples.

Now there might be some sexual truth to the initial attraction.   Having sex with a more experienced (perceived) or a much younger lover can be fulfilling to each party’s most erotic fantasies.   But what happens when the fantasy ride ends?   Can the relationship survive?

Cassie & Diddy

Lets take a look* at our favorite couples.     Both Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union have been previously married to other people.   So for Wade, the pressure to wed Gabby may not exist.   They have both experienced the highs and lows of marriage and are likely unwilling to jump the broom again without being totally ready and committed to making it work forever.   Although Gabrielle doesn’t have any children of her own,   we’ve seen pictures circulating the Internet of her playing “mom- to Dwyane’s two boys.   The fact that there are children already in their life might satisfy the couple’s desires to start a family of their own.   Also, sharing similar careers in the spotlight that require demanding schedules and long periods apart might further bond   them in terms of understanding, commitment and emotional intimacy.   Beyonce and Jay-Z share similarities although Jay is much older.   When he and Bey first started to date she was blossoming as a member in one of the most successful female groups of all time.   Jay was already an established leader in Hip Hop.   Both immensely successful independently, they understood the grueling nature of the business.   As Beyonce launched her solo career in her early 20s, rushing into a “settled- life of marriage and kids may have prevented her from becoming the megastar she is today.   This may have worked for Jay-Z too, whose Hip Hop persona didn’t necessarily include a wife and babies.   And with Beyonce being much younger, he clearly didn’t feel the pressure for marriage and fatherhood.   Their relationship probably works because they understand each other’s goals and responsibilities.

Nick Cannon & Mariah Carey

However, creating a long-term relationship with someone who is much older or younger can still be very difficult.   Most often the couple who tries has to endure much different realities than Dwyane and Gabrielle or Jay-Z and Beyonce.   For the average couple they are in different stages of their life.   Where one person may be starting his career, the other may be preparing to leave or go into an entirely new direction.   Then there’s the awkward get-togethers with friends.   Is it appropriate to play Katy Perry and Drake or should you play Anita Baker and Maxwell to make her friends feel more comfortable?   Which topics should or should not be discussed?   If you’re the older person in the relationship with kids of your own, how do you tell your partner that you may not be interested in dealing with bottles and booties again?   Or if you don’t have children yet, how do you encourage your much younger partner that it’s time to start a family before it’s too late?

While certain instances of compatibility brought the two of you together, important issues might prevail to prevent you from going the distance.   But just like in any caring relationship, effective communication will help you to achieve the happiness you deserve.   Don’t let the initial fear of what society thinks or the scrutiny of what your friends and family might unleash stop you from experiencing true love.   Or if it is indeed about the earth-shattering sex, ride that pony until you’re ready to move on.

*We have not spoken with either couple to qualify our opinions.

If you are in an age-defying romance, please share your experiences.